Embrace Your Introvert

By Lee Ann Lambert

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the frustration associated with being an introvert. Over the last couple months I've heard from many introverted people who are intelligent, articulate, funny, and very self-aware. Each and every one has demonstrated some level of frustration with the complications that come with being introverted. And that frustrates me.

I’ve been an introvert since the very beginning of my life – ask my mom. Some introverts I know feel that they became introverted over time. One says that he’s introverted because of the way he was treated as a child by his father. Some say introverts are born, some say introverts are made, and I’m not here to help anyone decide either way. I’ve heard some say that in some societies there are no introverts. None. I wholeheartedly disagree with that. Some societies, families, cultures make it nearly impossible for a person to own their introversion because it is so frowned upon. That’s truly a pity. I’ve had people ask me if I feel bad that I’m introverted, as if I am defective. One acquaintance, when I told her that I am an introvert, replied, “Well, at least you’re a fun introvert”. What the heck was that supposed to mean? I tried to start a dialogue with her about this, but she, being an extrovert, had already gone in a completely different direction with her conversation. I stewed about that comment for a couple days.

Some of us end up feeling apologetic for being introverted. What’s that about? And there are those introverts that are absolutely mortified at what they are! I'm not sure I understand that. How does a person reach the conclusion that being an introvert is so bad that they feel like it's an affliction or something that they have to change in order to accept themselves or be accepted? Lousy self esteem doesn't go hand in hand with introversion anymore than it goes with extroversion, so I tend to think that those that feel so bad about being introverted probably feel bad that they have brown hair or a pot belly or small feet or blue eyes too. We're all made with differences. Why, in the 21st Century, would any of us feel so desperate to fit in that we feel the need to change our basic being?

Let's have a discussion about self-esteem and introversion then. I know lots and lots of extroverts with very low self-esteem, and I know a lot of introverts with low self-esteem. Since I am an introvert, and I care deeply about helping all people have a better understanding of introversion, I will address self-esteem issues that are more associated with introversion.

First off, there are more extroverts in the world than introverts. The world is more geared towards extroverts. The world also tends to view anything different as suspicious. Out of lack of information on the part of some extroverts, introverts are often viewed as shy, less intelligent, loners, no fun, plotting, secretive, cold, harsh, aloof. Considering that introverts are a minority, these unflattering labels can be rather difficult to shake. But what's really sorry is when an introvert for some reason, actually buys into these assumptions and labels and begins to think they have some sort of problem! I would assert that introverts should be countering those incorrect notions by correcting them. As a group, we are no more or less shy, intelligent, fun, plotting, harsh or cold than extroverts. None of these characteristics can be associated exclusively with either group. What about aloofness, being a loner and secretiveness? Because introverts live more in an "inner" world - thinking, analyzing, planning, wondering, listening, and extroverts live more in an "outer" world - talking, moving, being more spontaneous, introverts do often come off as aloof and secretive. And since introverts are very comfortable alone, we can also seem to be loners. We tend to talk less and listen more. Just a normal variation of how we express ourselves, nothing negative there.

If you're feeling bad about yourself because you're an introvert, I would invite you to learn more about what introversion is and is not and honor your uniqueness. Introverts are deep-thinkers, sensitive, and self-directed. When we're at our best, we are creative, practical, intuitive, intelligent, compassionate and kind. We are also decisive and quietly assertive. Our unembellished speech can lead to clear, concise communication with others, and our analytical ability helps us make sound decisions. It's true that if we gave in to the temptation to hide ourselves away for a bit of solitude that we can get caught in that and never come out of our "cave". And that's no more healthy than an extrovert never, ever learning to enjoy peace and quiet and their own company. Each side of the spectrum needs to have balance in order for emotional health.

• Here are some characteristics that are common to introverts, and are completely acceptable and normal ways of being:
• Introverts recharge themselves with peace and quiet.
• Too much social activity, noise, partying, or visits from the neighbors exhaust us and will send us looking for alone time.
• Introverts tend not to talk a lot in social situations or business meetings and the like. We like to have time to think about what's being discussed before we jump in. Often when we do speak up, our thoughts are presented in compact sentences - we like to get to the point.
• It's hard for us to follow conversations that ramble and jump - our brains work differently than an extrovert's - the chemicals that aid in thought processes literally take a different path.
• Introverts tend to be quite sensitive to outside stimuli such as noise and activity.
• Introverts spend lots of time in introspection and quiet contemplation - we are generally a very insightful, sensitive bunch of people.
• Introverts also tend to have a very large "personal space". We usually need to know someone pretty well before voluntarily giving them a hug.

It's true that society seems to value people who are very outgoing and gregarious more so than us quiet, mysterious types. But it's up to us to help educate ourselves and others about introversion and to accept ourselves as a different, yet valuable minority that offers another facet to the gem of humanity. Let's celebrate ourselves, whether introverted or extroverted, and let's celebrate all our wonderful differences!

Lee Ann Lambert is a busy freelance writer, introvert, certified life coach, garden designer, artist, author, mom and grandmom among many other things. She resides in Michigan. For more information check out her website: http://www.hermitshearth.com/

All works Copyright 2007 by Lee Ann Lambert

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lee_Ann_Lambert

You're a what? I am an introvert.

By Lloyd Bailey

"It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is." -Erasmus


Hi Friend, I am Lloyd. I am an introvert(innie).

Have you always been an introvert?

Yes, I was born this way. Though, I just learn recently that I am one; an innie more then an outie(extorvert). I understand better who I am, why I am, and I am willing to be me. It is not only OK, it's great to be an introvert, an innie. Thanks Marti.

Similar to being left handed or right handed, we have the two basic core temperments of introvert and extrovert. We would normally develope the domininate temperment first. We can develope both sides given the opportunity and encouragement and you should develope both the introversion and extroversion. Under stress or being tired, you will fall back to your most dominate temperment.

Similarly, there are more right handed people then left, introverted people are vastly out number by extroverts. Introverts are misunderstood, ignored, made fun of, teased, thought down upon and de-socialized by society. Society looks up to and deeply admires, etc., extroverted people and thinks everyone needs to be one in order to succeed in life.

Innie(introvert) List from http://www.theintrovertadvantage.com/being.html to name a few:

Famous Innies
Actress
Joan Allen, actress Candice Bergen, actress, writer, photographer Ingrid Bergman, actress Ellen Burstyn, actress Glenn Close, actress Audrey Hepburn, actress Helen Hunt, actress Diane Keaton, actress Grace Kelly, actress Jessica Lange, actress Laura Linney, actress Gwyneth Paltrow, actress Michelle Pfeiffer, actress Julia Roberts, actress Meg Ryan, actress Meryl Streep, actress
Actors
Clint Eastwood, actor/director Harrison Ford, actor Tom Hanks, actor Sir Alfred Hitchcock, film director Jack Lemmon, late actor Bill Macy, actor Steve Martin, all around talented guy Noah Wiley, actor
Singers
Christina Aguilera, singer Enya, Irish pop singer and musician
Innie Writers & Artists
Emily Dickinson, poet Katharine Graham, late owner of the Washington Post, author and DC hostess Bill Keane, cartoonist Gary Larson, cartoonist Lois Lowery, author Monet, impressionist painter Norman Rockwell, painter Will Rogers, humorist SARK, writer and vigorous napper Charles Schultz, Peanuts cartoonist Neil Simon, playwright James Thurber, writer Gary Trudeau, cartoonist Mark Twain, humorist and author Elie Wiesel, author Eudora Welty, writer
Televison Hosts
Johnny Carson, former Tonight Show host Jane Clayson, host of CBS Morning Show Matt Lauer, co-host on the Today Show David Letterman, host of the David Letterman Show Diane Sawyer, co-host of ABC’s Good Morning America Barbara Walters, host of 20/20 and
Scientific Innies
Alfred Adler, psychoanalyst Albert Einstein, physicist Thomas Edison, inventor Jane Goodall, naturalist Carl Jung, Swiss psychoanalyst
Innie Characters
Harry Potter, young wizard from the popular book Jane Eyre, governess in book of the same name Jonas, in The Giver Dr. Katz, professional therapist, animated cable TV show Ensign Pulver, in Mr. Roberts Beth and Jo, sisters in Little Women Wendy in Peter Pan Ashley and Malanie Wilkes, in Gone With the Wind Jon Luc Picard and Counselor Troi on Star Trek Atticus Finch, in To Kill A Mockingbird
Political Innies
Nicholas II, last Tsar of Russia, great family man--out to lunch on the job Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, former first lady Laura Bush, first lady William, Prince of Wales Abraham Lincoln, 16th president Al Gore, former vice president Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th president

"Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded." - Jess Lair

How about you?

To Life!

I suggest reading: "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney,Psy.D.